I thought I had to face life alone. Men's work proved me wrong
Hatem's story, in his own words: from burying a loss in London to sitting in his first circle, and now facilitating them himself.
Some experiences quietly shape your life. Others transform it completely.
For me, men's work did exactly that.
If you'd told me a few years ago that sitting in a circle with other men would change my life, I wouldn't have believed you. Like many men, I thought I had to solve my problems on my own. From the outside, my life looked successful. Inside, I was slowly losing myself.
Twenty-one years ago, I left Egypt for London, full of hope and ambition. Working in hospitality, London felt like the place where dreams could become reality. I arrived with close friends, embraced the city's “work hard, party harder” culture, and eventually married an incredible woman whose career flourished in the tech industry.
Life looked good.
But over time, our friends moved away, my career stalled, and my wife and I experienced an unexpected miscarriage. Although we later agreed that children weren't part of our future, I never truly processed the loss. Instead, I buried my emotions, and that quiet pain began to affect every part of my life.
My frustration eventually exploded at work, costing me my job. A series of poor employers followed, and with each one I withdrew further into myself. I stopped making friends, escaped into video games, and slowly disconnected from my marriage and from the person I wanted to be.
Then COVID arrived.
Ironically, what became a difficult time for the world became the beginning of my healing. I discovered cold-water immersion, yoga, and meditation. Those practices helped me reconnect with myself, and a new job finally gave me the space to invest in personal growth.
It was my wife who first suggested I try a men's circle.
My first experience didn't resonate, so I dismissed the idea. A year later, during another challenging period in my marriage, I searched again and found Pasco's men's circles.
That decision changed everything.
During my first session, I spoke honestly about parts of my relationship I'd never shared before. I expected judgment or criticism.
Instead, I found something I hadn't realized I desperately needed.
The men simply listened.
They didn't try to fix me. They asked thoughtful questions that helped me see myself more clearly. When the session ended, I felt lighter than I had in years.
I immediately committed to a long-term circle, and it became the anchor of my week.
Those men became trusted friends. More importantly, they changed how I viewed other men. For most of my life, I'd unconsciously seen them as competition: for success, recognition, or status.
Men's work taught me something different.
Other men aren't my competition.
They're fellow travellers.
When we create spaces where men can be honest without fear of judgment, we stop pretending we have everything under control. We discover that vulnerability isn't weakness: it's the foundation of trust, growth, and genuine connection.
That transformation inspired me to keep growing. After completing my Yoga Teacher Training, I enrolled in Facilitator Training for men's circles, something I never would have imagined myself doing only a few years earlier.
Today, I facilitate both online and in-person men's circles. I've watched quiet men find their voices, rebuild relationships, and rediscover confidence they believed was gone forever.
Again and again, I've seen men realize one simple truth:
They are not alone.
That realization can change a life.
Men's work hasn't made my life perfect. What it has done is give me the courage to face life differently, with greater honesty, stronger relationships, and a community of men who challenge and support one another.
It gave meaning to experiences that once felt like failures.
If my story resonates with you, perhaps it's a reminder that you don't have to carry everything by yourself.
Sometimes, one honest conversation is all it takes to begin changing your life.
