Frequently Asked Questions

The format is usually a little something like this:

Intro

Why are we here, what are we here to do.

Outline of meeting

What are we going to do in this circle.

Agreements

These are our collectively agreed boundaries to create 'safe' container for the circle. Important things like sobriety, confidentiality, non-judgement.‌

Check-in

Here each man shares their name, location, a score out of 10, and three words to describe how they're feeling.

Centering Exercise

Next the facilitator leads an exercise to help everyone get out of their heads for a moment, practice some emotional regulation, get present and into the body. It varies a bit, sometimes it's a short meditation, sometimes something embodied, or a breath based exercise.

Short warm up question

This is the starter: We have over 100 questions, its down to your facilitator to choose an appropriate question for the group to answer in a minute or so.

Long Individual shares

This is the main course: Each man is invited to talk for usually around 6-10 minutes (depends on how many men are present). This is your oppertunity to think aloud and be heard by a group of supportive and like-minded men who are also working on themselves. You can talk about whatever you want, it can be a useful space to bring subjects that you might not want to talk about with others in your life. You can rant, cry, rage. You can't get it wrong. You don't need to try to be clever, funny or brave, just honest.

Check-out, takeaways, state shift.

Then finally, we each share our score again, a short learning, word or action we're taking with us, and we invite a bit of movement, to shift our state before getting on with our lives.

Sharing: Men share their thoughts, feelings, and experiences in a non-judgmental space.

Listening: Active listening is crucial. Men learn to truly hear and understand each other.

Support: Members offer support, encouragement, and empathy to one another.

Feedback: Men can request feedback, in various forms, from the other men.

Personal growth: Men have the opportunity to explore their identities, values, and relationships.

Deeper connections: Men can forge strong, meaningful bonds with other men.

Emotional expression: A safe space to express emotions openly and honestly.

Personal growth: Opportunities for self-discovery and development.

Increased self-awareness: Better understanding of one's thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.

Improved relationships: Stronger connections with partners, family, and friends.

Men's circles are open to men of all ages, backgrounds, and walks of life. There's no specific criteria to join, and everyone is welcome. We define a man as: anyone that shares the experience of being a man.

Many of our members feel hesitant about joining and sharing in circles. We create a supportive environment where vulnerability is encouraged, but it's okay to start by listening and observing. Sharing comes naturally with time and trust.

While the focus does vary, common themes include

• Fatherhood and parenting: Challenges, joys, and the impact of fatherhood.
• Work and career: Balancing work life and personal life, career aspirations.
• Relationships: Love, intimacy, communication, and challenges in partnerships.
• Health and well-being: Physical, mental, sexual, social and emotional health.
• Spirituality, meaning and purpose: Exploring life's meaning and connection to something greater.

We took all the hundreds of answers men told us, gave it to AI, and this is the summary:

The most common reasons people join men's circles are:

1. Connection and community: Men often feel isolated and alone, and men's circles provide a safe space to connect with other men, build friendships, and feel a sense of belonging.
2. Personal growth and development: Men's circles can help men explore their identities, develop their emotional intelligence, and learn new skills.
3. Support and accountability: Men's circles can provide a supportive environment where men can share their challenges and struggles, and receive encouragement and advice from other men.
4. Mental and emotional well-being: Men's circles can help men improve their mental and emotional health by providing a space to process difficult emotions, reduce stress, and learn coping mechanisms.
5. Explore masculinity: Men's circles can provide a space for men to explore what it means to be a man in today's world, and to challenge traditional notions of masculinity.

Other reasons people join men's circles include:

• To learn from other men.
• To gain new perspectives.
• To improve their social skills.
• To find mentors.
• To have fun and enjoy themselves.

Awareness

The first stage is about to “creating the container” - getting used to the structure and format, and getting to know the other men in the circle. We have the opportunity to share our life stories, which can give us a clearer picture about how we came to be the way we are. We learn listening skills, how to be present, and how to provide insightful feedback to other men.

Acceptance

In this stage we go into greater depth; exploring our patterns of behaviour - why we do the things we do, our emotions, triggers and ways of thinking. In this stage we are invited to accept the parts of ourselves that we may not like; leading to greater insight into our motivations, wants and needs; and when we do this, we give ourselves agency to change them. This is the stage of developing our emotional intelligence and language, as well as an embodied awareness.

Action

In the final stage you are invited to begin taking responsibility for yourself. This looks like choosing actions for your own development, taking on challenges from other men, and getting weekly peer-accountability and encouragement.